alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
