ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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