If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
