I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
