Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
