can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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