he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
