You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize