I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
