I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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