I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
