i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
