hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
