He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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