I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
