Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
