this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize