He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
