Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
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