One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
