While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize