Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
