Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
