well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
