It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
