At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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