I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
