we have pet lesbian snakes
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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