Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
