I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
