'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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