Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
