Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
