I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize