Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
