it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have post one night stand depression
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