yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
