Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
