do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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