you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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