I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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