Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just want to make out with him forever
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize