i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
