she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
