you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize