I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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