Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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