dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
