okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
