I love black thongs
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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