It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
handjob tips. give me some.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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