So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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