If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
