My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this just has baby written all over it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
