Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
