Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
