i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
