Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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