got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
meet me or not, i'm out of control
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
