Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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