it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
