I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Congratulations! We have a period
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