My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
