This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
