Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
