There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
