why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
