This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
