your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
being pregnant is like rehab
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
