Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize