Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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