Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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