we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
