I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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