I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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