Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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