a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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