Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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