I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
