i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
from now on my penis is your penis
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
