Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize